


Take My Head, Take My Whole Life Too

by Whoareyou0000



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Annoyed Leon, Bad Poetry, Courting Rituals, Developing Relationship, Dramatic Arthur Pendragon, Fluff and Crack, Fluff and Humor, Gaius is So Done (Merlin), Idiots in Love, Implied Sexual Content, Insecure Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Insecure Merlin (Merlin), King Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Leon Recites Poetry, Leon is so done too, Love Confessions, M/M, Matchmaker Leon, Merlin is a Little Shit, Oblivious Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), POV Leon (Merlin), Parent Gaius (Merlin), Pining Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Pining Merlin (Merlin), Protective Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Resolved Sexual Tension, Romantic Comedy, Sarcasm, Snarky Leon, Snarky Merlin (Merlin), Worried Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-05
Updated: 2020-11-05
Packaged: 2021-03-09 00:09:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,518
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27395506
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Whoareyou0000/pseuds/Whoareyou0000
Summary: Arthur is a dramatic mess, Merlin is a little shit, and Leon and Gaius are tired of playing matchmaker to a couple of oblivious idiots madly in love. It’s worth potentially losing their heads to finally get some bloody sleep.
Relationships: Merlin & Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Comments: 10
Kudos: 257
Collections: favorite Merlin fics (Luciferskitten_Arthursprincess)





	Take My Head, Take My Whole Life Too

“I _care_ about Merlin.”

Leon trails reluctantly behind Arthur through the citadel’s narrow, shadowed hallways. The king’s boots clap aggressively on the stone floor and his free hand gestures wildly around, narrowing missing a passing torch. Night has fallen upon Camelot and its king has adopted its dramatics with a flair only a Pendragon can accomplish. 

“Of course, sire. I never said…”

“Why else would I drag my servant around with me everywhere?” Leon scratches at his hairline, mouth slightly agape. “He’s completely useless on hunting trips, always shooing the animals away and tending to their wounds, and he’s an absolute buffoon with a sword. Its only because of _my_ watchful eye that he hasn’t gotten himself killed in battle yet.” Arthur turns briefly, catching Leon’s gawp with a decisive nod and a pointed finger. “I always keep Merlin in my sight, always make sure that our enemies don’t get within a sword’s length of his delicate, maiden-like skin, that he never gets stuck under those branches that always seem to fall at the most inconvenient times.” 

They reach their starting position in the hall, making another go round that numbs Leon's mind to the point that he blurts out his innermost musings.

“Forests really are fragile places, aren’t they?” Leon nearly runs into Arthur’s suddenly stiff form. The king rotates slowly and casts a look of utter exasperation at the throwaway joke. He then continues down the long corridor with a shake of his head. Leon tosses his head back, eyes clenched in frustration, and follows.

“Okay, so maybe I don’t speak my endearments in public. I’m a king, I must always be tough and exert my authority. I can’t be bothered with flowery talk and _feelings._ I can’t afford to appear weak-minded or smitten. Our enemies could always be watching, particularly when we’re outside of the city’s walls.”

Leon raises his eyebrows at _smitten_ , stopping briefly and then walking faster to catch up to his king. It’s late and most of the court has taken its leave for the night. Leon would like to join them at some point before the sun comes up. If these two did not give it up and tear each other’s clothes off soon, though, he worries he may never sleep again. 

So, in the name of his own sanity, he chances a word of advice to the younger man through clenched teeth.

“Right, sire. I’m sure that Merlin will see sense if…” 

Arthur cackles at that one and about-faces. He drops his hands to his sides abruptly and claps them against his thighs, scattering blue, velvety litter about the ground that some servant will have to clean up come morning. 

“You think so, do you?” The king shakes his head and then continues onward, Leon heaving a heavy sigh. “Merlin is the most stubborn, pig-headed, smug, idiotic, dollophead that I’ve ever met. I highly doubt that _sense_ is even within his understanding.” 

Arthur hesitates at the far end of the hallway, shaking his head, before taking yet another right. Leon rolls his eyes so hard that he can see his brain, legs aching from this constant pacing, and then grips the back of the king’s tunic with a strong hand. The smaller man stumbles, grips the wall, and then fights against the restraint. Leon releases him only once he’s made his point. Arthur turns, his face creased with shock at the knight's utter audacity. 

“Sire, _Arthur_ , I am your loyal knight and your friend. I would march into the bowels of hell on your command. However, I’ve just returned from a week-long excursion in Camelot’s thickest woods and my feet are so tired that I can hardly feel them in my boots. So, I’m going to be frank and if you wish to throw me in the dungeons for it, then so be it. At least I’ll be able to sit down.” 

Arthur, mouth still gaping and very trout-like, gives a subtle nod. “Very well. Speak freely.” 

Leon, somewhat surprised, finds it in himself to relax and even manages a small, encouraging smile. 

“Merlin is in love with you. He’d do anything for you and it’s quite clear that you love him too. I assure you that no one in the kingdom will respect and adore you any less for courting a servant, or a man. Particularly if its Merlin, who we all cherish. In fact, we’d all be quite thankful to not have to tip toe around you two any longer. Between the sexual tension and your nonstop sparring, we’re all exhausted.” He places a calming hand on Arthur’s vibrating shoulder and turns him round, pushing him forward until they reach the door that Arthur has so clearly been avoiding. “So, stop stalling, will you? Go to him, and tell him how you feel so that the rest of the kingdom can get some well-deserved sleep.” 

Arthur, now somewhat deflated, swallows loudly and then gives a curt nod at the solid wall of wood separating him from his conquest, ever the knight preparing for the next melee. The torches flicker, casting a heroic glow on his now-determined posture and the rising blush in his cheeks.

“Right, will do then.” Leon turns to go, but a hand finds his chainmail and pulls him back. Dark blue eyes dart around and the royal face wavers from weary to hopeful. “Leon, are you quite sure?” 

The knight gifts an encouraging nod and covers the king’s shaky hand. “Yes, Arthur, I’m quite sure.” They slowly release each other and Leon steps out of range of the doorway before turning back. “You chose well. Blue is his favorite color.” 

Arthur breaks into a relieved smile and then lifts the bouquet of flowers from their place at his hip. He turns and knocks confidently on the door to the physician’s chambers. An exhausted Gaius answers, his entire body sagging with an immense sigh at the sight of the king and his gift.

“Oh, bless you, sire. If I had to listen to anymore of Merlin’s rambling, then I’d not be long for this world.” He raises a taunting eyebrow. “An old man can only take so much.” 

Gaius throws Leon a weary nod and steps outside to join him in the hall, dressed fully in his bed clothes. They’re both entirely too relieved when the servant appears in the doorway with his arms crossed stubbornly over his chest. His raven hair stands up and his tunic hangs crooked and unbelted, as if he’s been through some kind of ordeal. Nostrils flared, he speaks through tight lips and casts a narrow, suspicious stare at Arthur’s poised and tense form. The king’s nervous and entirely-too-toothy smile holds strong. 

“Are those flowers?” 

Arthur’s shoulders relax slightly. He clears his throat and thrusts the bouquet forward with the same forced grin. “They match your eyes. Which I find, quite…” He nearly chokes on the dregs of his admission. “…lovely.” 

A beat of silence passes. Leon exhales, so close to finding peace. Then…

“Oh, perfect!” Merlin violently throws his hands in the air. “Of course, you’re under another love spell. You’re a bloody magnet for curses. What is it this time? Another unicorn? A vengeful spirit? Maybe a toad that you squashed under your boot when you were a bratty child?”

Leon tugs at his hair and Gaius buries his face in his hands. Arthur, his face screwed in utter confusion, shakes his head and then erupts, his voice echoing against the stone walls and likely waking the entire hall. 

“No, _Mer_ lin. I am not _cursed!_ You wanted a bloody show of affection and so I’m giving it to you, you dollophead. I love you and your ridiculous sparkling blue eyes and I wish to court you despite the fact that you are as defiant and stubborn as a mule.” He angrily thrusts the flowers forward again until Merlin slowly, and with a furrowed brow, accepts them. “There, idiot, we’re officially courting.”

Merlin examines the bouquet hanging loosely from his fingers, lips pursed, and then averts his softening eyes. “Fine. We’re courting, _prat._ ” 

Arthur gives a nod, his lips turning slightly upwards at the edges. Merlin snorts, erupts into a massive grin, and throws his arms around the king. Arthur squeezes the skinny servant in return, his fingers weaving through the hair at the base of his neck. A cloud of soft aquamarine petals burst into the air and a select few rest in the combined canopy of blonde and black. 

Stars for day and night, Leon muses internally. Then he scolds himself for entertaining such dreadful poetry and remembers the ache in his feet.

“Come, Gaius.” He places a reassuring hand on the physician’s shoulder. “We’ve a spare bed in the knight’s quarters.” 

Gaius nods, relaxing into a crooked smile. His eyebrow takes in the wandering hands of Camelot’s king with general disapproval. “Thank heavens. I don’t think I would have gotten any sleep here tonight.” 

They flee the hall as quickly as possible, just as the lustful exclamations of “prat” and “idiot” fade behind a closed door.

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin, Arthur, or their undying love for each other. The title is a loose interpretation of "Can't Help Falling in Love" by Elvis Presley. 
> 
> Author's Note: I don't know what happened here. I just needed some Merthur humor in my life and this came out.
> 
> Kudos if you empathize with Leon's and Gaius' plight.
> 
> Review if you think Arthur and Merlin should just lock themselves in the king's chambers until they resolve that sexual tension already.


End file.
